Okay, the title of this blog post is kind of misleading because it’s still only morning here while I am typing this. Today was one of the mornings when I spent all my time smiling – all to myself. I have still met not a single soul and it’s 10AM, but I have been smiling way too much. I did wake up with a frown, thinking today was going to be just like my previous week. Then I heard a little voice in my mind say, “bae, love yourself.”

I had been having the most stressful days of my life since the last week, but everything this morning made it so worth it. I spent one hour in bed, just staring at my ceiling, thinking. Thinking about life – and for the first time – it wasn’t about goals, art, academics or writing or friends. It was just about life. Looked at the time, and decided that I was saturated by my bed’s company and needed a new partner – probably my yoga mat? Yes.

I put my oily-ass hair in a bun (don’t judge me, I haven’t had the time to shampoo) and did some yoga, followed by putting on my white shoes and heading to RSF. RSF is the gym at Berkeley that is basically a fifteen minute walk from my apartment, but it’s usually my first and favourite walk of the day because I see absolutely nobody on the streets. For those who all know me, my day doesn’t pass until I take at least one stupid decision – I didn’t realise that my white shoes weren’t waterproof. Yup, they were absolutely drenched by the time I got to RSF. But, for the first time, I decided not to stress about it, they’ll dry soon enough.

The workout was pretty normal, but something caught a hold of me when I stepped out of RSF – it was a beautiful, cloudy day – and you know those showers that keep reminding you that it’s raining but they can’t really drench you? It felt like if meditation could be symbolised as a day, it would be today. I walked to my favourite coffee place in Downtown and just sat there, sipping it. I was in no hurry, free of worries and the only character in my story was me. It was kind of blissful.

I left that place, literally ran on the zebra crossing because yeah, I was racing with the countdown on the signal and I lost, just by a second. My feet hurt because I haven’t walked this much since last week – I have been cooped up in the library – but I still decided to take the long and scenic route home. Today was one of those days when I noticed people holding hands, I saw a group of girls trying to race with a car that a complete stranger was driving and I saw a dog jump up into its human’s arms. It was kind of precious.

Then, I saw an old man walking somewhere with two very heavy bags of groceries and usually I would never approach someone but as I said, today was one of those days, while I passed by him, I offered to help. He refused because he had to balance the weight between both his arms but he gave me the biggest smile in the world. It was the highlight of my day. As I passed by him, he said from behind, “Have a lovely day!” and I realised that I was already having one. Walked home smiling to myself, and I still am smiling as I am typing this.

Today just is one of those days.

Muskaan Darshan

16th April 2022, Saturday